Thursday, October 15, 2009

A guild is a relationship . . .

My buddy Rhutra wrote a post about our guild. In short, we've been having people leave over the past few months. I havent yet figured out who the people actually were who left, I've been too busy leveling my shammy (level 66, woot!!!). However, his post got me to thinking. I think a guild really is like a relationship.

Follow me on this. There are many different types of relationships. You have casual relationships where you just go on dates and engage in various extra curricular activities. You have relationships where both parties are focused on marriage. You have the guy/girl who goes out with you a couple times and drops off the face of the planet, etc. I'm not here to categorize (ok, maybe my slight OCD tendencies make me do it a lil).

I think a guild is like a relationship in every functional way. Both require work. Maybe its work you enjoy (helping people out, doing the dishes, cutting gems for guildies, whatever), but its still work. Both require an expenditure of time (raid attendance, dates, watching America's next top model even though you'd rather be watching UFC unleashed). Even if you enjoy the expenditure of time, you're still putting forth effort. However, like relationships, ideally, you get out of it what you put into it.

I'm a lucky guy. My guildies understand that I don't like PvP and have a ton of alts, and I've never been pressured to hit level cap with any character. I know we could use healers, and I think I might enjoy caster DPS in a raid environment so I'm leveling one. They don't comment when I occasionally take PvE vacations on my alliance server. They make room for me in raids even though my 2500 DPS (on a good day) is near the bottom of the charts. Some of them are real life friends and some of them I've never met, but I love them for it. I would do anything for my guildies, but my abilities normally only extend to cutting gems and running alts through stuff, maybe tanking the occasional heroic.

An ideal guild is like the ideal relationship. You need them and they need you. Your goals are the same. It makes you feel good to be a part of it. Yes, it might have times where you are frustrated, but in general, you just feel like it's worth it. I feel like I am in a guild like this. I've looked around on other servers to try to find something similar without the PvP. I havent been able to. Its like in my real life. I'm dating a girl who lives in Indiana roughly two hours away from me. It sucks and is inconvenient, but shes so good for me in the ways that matter that it is worth a little inconvenience to be able to spend time with her. Does it piss me off when there is construction and I'm at a dead stop at 9pm waiting to get to her house? Yes. Does it piss me off when some punk ass bored little kid thinks it's funny to kill my character because he can? Yes. But much like in my personal life, sometimes you don't always appreciate that ideal relationship, but when it's there, there is no substitute. Hence my repeatedly coming back to a PvP server despite loathing PvP.

There are a lot of douchebags and mercenaries out there, and not everyone gets to find "the one". Don't stop looking and don't give up. Those of you who have: grats!


Smashie said...

I agree completely. Over my nearly 5 years of playing, I can think of 3 guilds that actually felt like the "one" for me.

One is my first guild on my first character. I joined while I was in Deadmines, and they invited me because they needed enchanters at the time. Who would have thought that I would go from Deadmines to MC, BWL, then AQ40 with them.

The second is a guild I was raiding with in BC. It was a morning raiding guild and I had to actually wake up at 7:30am to raid with them every day. But they appreciated my effort, and I appreciated a guaranteed raid spot and first dibs on loot.

The last is different from the first two. It is a guild that I'm actually in right now on an alt. We don't raid, we don't utilize a guild bank, and we don't actively recruit for more members. But we all are like-minded, have a lot in common, and just enjoy playing the game together.

Rhii said...

I'm still looking for "that guild" everytime I find one I think is it it turns out to be "that guild with the incredibly awesome community and the incredibly insane guild master pulling the strings."

Grats on finding your -One True Guild- though. :)

Ruhtra said...

I am happy you love us that much Fish, but do not start expecting me to do your laundry. :P

Syrana said...

"An ideal guild is like the ideal relationship. You need them and they need you. Your goals are the same. It makes you feel good to be a part of it. Yes, it might have times where you are frustrated, but in general, you just feel like it's worth it."


I think I've found my "one" guild and have been a part of it for over a year. My only issue is now the guild's goals and core group are shifting... and it's widening the gap between our goals.

But the points you made are important. This is why whenever I see someone asking "what's the best guild on this server?" or some similar question... I can only respond with "Depends what you are looking for."

That has thrown a few too many people off guard. This is also why I'm not a fan of guilds that allow every single member to invite anyone they want at whim.

Yes, I like applications and interivews (or at least a chat) even for casual guilds. What better way to see if the guild is a fit for you and vice versa?